Of Canaries and Moonlight
by VoldemortIsGoingDown
Summary: After Hermione sees Ron and Lavender entertwined in the same armchair after the Quidditch match, she goes into an empty classroom, and we all know what happens next. But how does she feel about it?


The walls were a blur as I flew down the hall, the torches throughout the corridor just flashes of light as I passed. My vision was blurred by the tears that threatened to consume me at any moment, and there was a roaring in my ears caused by my complete shock. As I ran, I stumbled, falling to my knees in a sudden movement. I was up on my feet again just as quickly, forcing myself onward as I fleed. I reached the heavy oak door of a classroom, and I threw myself against it in desperation. Mercifully, it was unlocked. I wrenched it open and hurried inside, shoving the door closed behind me. I walked in a haze towards the teacher's desk and sank onto it dejectedly.

I feel as though my heart is being torn into a million pieces.

I had been so happy. Ron and I were finally going to a party together. I had finally asked him. Maybe, I had thought to myself, we would kiss. Maybe we would finally be what I had wanted for three years- "us". All of my wishes and hopes and prayers were finally answered.

Or so I thought.

I now know how truly foolish I had been. Ronald Bilius Weasley, best friend of Harry Potter, wizard chess champion, keeper- brave, smart, funny Ron- like someone like me? Foolish.

I couldn't hold in my tears any longer. The thought of Lavender Brown- that beautiful, dumb blonde all over Ron made me sick. Seeing them snogging in the common room was horrid- it hurt like nothing else ever had, not when my dog died, not when Sirius died...

But it's my fault, I suppose, in a way. I never should have gotten my hopes up. It was ridiculous. He would never want to be with me.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps coming down the corridor. Panicking at the thought of someone seeing me in this state, I hastily wiped my eyes and whipped out my wand. I muttered the first spell that popped into my head, conjuring up the little yellow birds as we had done the other day in class. The footsteps stopped and the door swung open tentatively, revealing Harry.

"Oh, hello, Harry," I said as normally as possible. Even I could tell my voice was thick and strained. "I was just practicing."

"Yeah... they're- er- really good..." Harry replied, a little awkwardly. I could read the concern and sympathy on his face, but I could also tell he had no idea what to do. I was touched that he would take the time to come to find me. I wanted to thank him and make him realize how much it meant to me, but I couldn't help but mention his git of a best friend first00.

"Ron seems to be enjoying the celebrations." I winced at how fake my voice sounded.

"Er... does he?"

I felt myself get a little annoyed that Harry was playing dumb. "Don't pretend you didn't see him," I snapped. "He wasn't exactly hiding it, was-?"

The door slammed open. Ron burst in, towing a giggling Lavender by the hand. I stiffened, fighting back a second round of tears by arranging my features into an emotionless expression. I saw Harry wince, glancing at me and then back at the sickeningly happy couple. Ron stopped, staring at Harry and I, while Lavender nearly crashed into him. Her eyes widened.

"Oops!" She cried, giggling harder than ever as she backed out of the room. Merlin, I hate her laugh.

Ron fixed his eyes on Harry, avoiding my stare.

"Hi, Harry!" he said, his voice far too bright and cheerful to be natural. "Wondered where you'd got to!" His ears were bright red, and he continued to avoid looking at me, though he squirmed under my direct gaze. Harry looked at him in disbelief, his face displaying the same confusion I had as to how Ron could ignore me so completely. I got slowly off the desk, the little flock of yellow canaries fluttering about my head like a fluffy halo.

"You shouldn't leave Lavender waiting outside. She'll wonder where you've gone."

Her name was terribly difficult for me to say. Almost as difficult as walking to the door without betraying my emotions. Each slow step was agonizing; I couldn't stand not telling him in some way what he had done to me. Before I placed my hand on the door knob, I got an idea.

"Oppugno!" I shrieked, whirling around and pointing my wand at him. The canaries attacked mercilessly, little yellow bullets hurtling at him as his expression changed from relief to shock to terror.

"Gerremoffme!" Ron yelled, waving his hands hopelessly as my little yellow allies flew around him.

I felt my guard slip as my fury showed, and I darted out of the classroom before I could burst into tears. One sob escaped before I slammed the door, leaving Ron's yelps of pain behind me as I began to run again. I passed Lavender a little ways up the corridor; she smiled as I ran past, but it was a cold, triumphant smile- there was no apology, no sympathy, only victory and malice.

I raced up the stairs to the Astronomy tower, eager to feel the cool night breeze on my face and the freedom of being far away from them. As I reached the top of the stairs, the expanse of the sky reaching in all directions, I paused to catch my breath. The night sky was just so beautiful, and the stars and breeze allowed me to finally let go. I sank onto the cold flagstones, wrapping my arms around myself as sobs wracked my body. I had always known I loved Ron, but until tonight I had never truly realized to what degree. Seeing him with another girl so soon after basically admitting my feelings to him was completely unbearable.

There was nothing for it. I would not be able to face him as long as she was around, and as much as I hated to admit it, I doubted we would be able to repair our friendship.

I continued to cry as a cloud covered the moon, and a lone, distant howl was heard- a lonely, mournful sound.


End file.
